I like this article.有英文版（在下方，看原始網頁更清楚，全文轉貼只是怕網頁消失XD）。
優先貼中文版是因為，東方人更怕談論沒有性生活or因此分手這件事。但這是事實。
「在谷歌上，人們對婚姻的最大抱怨是沒有性生活。「無性婚姻」的搜索量是「不幸婚姻」的3.5倍，是「無愛婚姻」的8倍。已婚者抱怨配偶不願做愛的次數，是抱怨對方不願交談的16倍。」
關於性的問題，讓大數據來說話
賽斯·斯蒂芬斯-大衛德維茨
2015年1月27日
性讓你感到迷惑不解嗎？我肯定是不解的。
性讓人困惑的原因有很多，其中一個是我們缺乏可靠的數據。人們會欺騙朋友、戀人、醫生、調查問卷，還有自己。
三年前，還在念經濟學的研究生時，我開始寫文章探討新型數據——尤其是谷歌搜索的數據——如何給我們帶來關於社會敏感話題的新見解。從那時起，就有很多人建議我寫寫性方面的話題。
對此我態度謹慎，因為我希望進行更詳實的研究。現在我終於準備好了。對於你一直想知道但卻沒有數據去了解的各種有關性的問題，本文會嘗試給出答案。
就從基本的問題說起吧。我們的性生活次數有多少？傳統的調查問卷無法很好地回答這個問題。
美國「綜合社會調查」(General Social Survey)是一個典型的數據來源，我分析了從那裡獲得的數據。18歲及以上的異性戀男性表示，他們每年平均進行63次性行為，其中23%使用安全套。這樣算下來，每年在異性性行為中用掉的安全套總數應為逾16億個。
異性戀女性則表示，她們每年平均有55次性行為，其中16%使用安全套。這樣算下來，每年在異性性行為中用掉的安全套總數應為11億個左右。
到底誰說了真話，男性還是女性？
答案是：都沒有。尼爾森(Nielsen)的數據顯示，每年售出的安全套不足6億個。
美國人可能還誇大了自己進行無防護措施的的性行為的次數。在15至44歲年齡段的女性中，約11%聲稱自己有活躍的性生活，但目前沒有懷孕，也沒有採取避孕措施。即使對她們的性生活次數進行比較保守的假設，估計其中也應該每月會有10%的人懷孕。但是，照此推算的數字將超出美國懷孕女性（每113名育齡女性中有1人在孕育生命）的總人數。
從來沒有結過婚的男性，聲稱自己每年平均使用29個安全套。這樣算下來的數據比美國市場上出售給已婚和單身者的安全套總數還要多。
已婚者也很可能誇大了自己的性生活次數。在調查問卷中，65歲以下的已婚男子表示他們的性行為平均頻率達每周一次。只有1%的人承認自己過去一年中沒有性生活。已婚女性自述的性行為頻次略少一些，但相差也不大。
搜索統計發現，缺少性愛是一段感情中的一大抱怨，而且丈夫們的這方面抱怨要比妻子們多。另外，數據還揭示了男朋友們似乎比女朋友們更頻繁地逃避性愛。
然而，谷歌搜索數據卻顯示，在婚姻存續期間，人們的性生活遠沒有那麼活躍。
在谷歌上，人們對婚姻的最大抱怨是沒有性生活。「無性婚姻」的搜索量是「不幸婚姻」的3.5倍，是「無愛婚姻」的8倍。已婚者抱怨配偶不願做愛的次數，是抱怨對方不願交談的16倍。
即使是沒有結婚的伴侶，也會比較頻繁地抱怨自己缺乏性生活。谷歌搜索「無性交往關係」的頻次，僅次於「不良交往關係」。（後者顯然是一個非常重大的話題，我將來還會探討。）
在谷歌上，抱怨未婚伴侶不想做愛的次數，是抱怨不回短訊的5.5倍。抱怨男友「不肯做愛」的搜索量，要多於抱怨「女友」不願做愛的情況。而對「丈夫」和「妻子」的抱怨頻次大致相當。（請注意關於性向方面的一個小提示：我在研究中假定搜索「我女友」或「我妻子」怎樣怎樣的人大多為男性。在以前的文章中，我曾談到，和調查問卷的統計數據相比，有更大比例的男性是同性戀，而他們沒有出櫃仍是造成許多隱秘痛苦的一大原因。但我也發現，約95%的男性為異性戀。）種種數據綜合起來，表明美國人每年大約有30次性行為，即每12天一次。
性愛相當有趣。那為什麼我們做愛的次數如此之少呢？
從谷歌搜索數據來看，巨大的焦慮感是一個突出的原因，而很多焦慮卻來自於錯誤的認識。
先從男性的多慮說起。男性對自己的生殖器官憂心忡忡已經不是什麼新聞，但是這種擔心的程度相當地嚴重。單是谷歌上的一次搜索，我們無從知曉用戶是男是女。但是，如果一個人搜索性器官和身體部位，比如「我的陰莖」怎樣怎樣，我們通常可以做出相當靠譜的猜測。
對於自己的性器官，男性進行搜索的次數比任何其他身體部位都多：超過了對肺、肝、腳、耳、鼻、喉和腦的搜索次數總和。
男性搜索如何讓陰莖變得更大的頻次，超過了如何給吉他調音、做煎蛋卷或是換輪胎。關於類固醇，男性搜索得最多的問題是它是否會讓陰莖變小。對於變老之後，身心會起什麼樣的變化，男性最常搜索的問題也是陰莖是否會變小。
另外插一句：在谷歌上，一個比較常見的關於陰莖的問題是：「我的陰莖有多大？」男人們會去問谷歌，而不是去找把尺子來獲取答案，在我看來，這是當今數字時代的一種再典型不過的表現。
那麼，女人在乎陰莖的大小嗎？從谷歌搜索來看，她們真不怎麼在乎。女性搜索伴侶陰莖問題的次數，與男性自己搜索它的次數之比大約是1:170。
誠然，在女性對伴侶陰莖表示不滿的少數情況下，往往的確涉及尺寸，但不一定是覺得它小。對伴侶陰莖大小的抱怨中，有逾40%是抱怨太大。「疼痛」是人們在谷歌上搜索「性交時」怎樣怎樣最常見的詞。（前五位中的另外四個依次為「出血」、「尿尿」、「哭泣」和「放屁」。）
在尋求如何改變陰莖尺寸的搜索中，有1%是想知道怎樣讓它變小。
性愛方面的另一個主要關注點是早泄。男性問出的第二常見的性問題，就是如何延長自己的性交時間。
在這方面，男性的不安全感似乎又一次與女性的關注點發生了錯位。詢問如何讓男朋友更快達到高潮和更慢達到高潮的搜索數量大致是相當的。事實上，女性對於男友性高潮最常見的擔憂，不是它什麼時候發生，而是為什麼根本就沒有。
我們不常談論男性在身體上的不安全感。而且雖然從整體上來說，人們對女性的相貌身材有更強的興趣，但是男女之間在這方面的差距，也沒有很多人以為的那麼嚴重。根據我對谷歌AdWords（使用的也是匿名、匯總性在線活動數據）的分析，對美容和健身表示興趣的人中，有42%是男性；對減肥感興趣的人中，男性佔33%；對整容手術感興趣的人中，男性佔39%。在所有關於胸部的「怎樣才能如何如何」的搜索中，約有20%是詢問如何去除男性胸部的脂肪。
我們能從這種新型數據中，窺探女性的不安全感嗎？在美國，每年有超過700萬次關於隆胸的搜索。官方統計數據告訴我們，每年約有30萬女性做隆胸手術。
女性對自己的臀部也表現了極大的不安全感。不過對於希望自己臀部有怎樣的變化，很多女性的看法發生了逆轉。
在2004年，在美國的一些地區，關於改變臀部的搜索中，最常見的是如何讓它更小。讓臀部變大的興趣，主要集中在黑人人口較多的地區。但是從2010年開始，這種願望在美國其他地區也增強了。之後的四年里，這種願望提高了兩倍。2014年，在美國的所有州，如何讓臀部變大的查詢，都超過了如何讓它變小。如今在美國，搜索隆胸和隆臀的搜索次數比例為5:1。
關於身體部位的搜索中，男性們更多地關心自己的陰莖。而關於「我的陰莖」的十大搜索中，九個都和大小相關。
關於身體部位的搜索中，男性們更多地關心自己的陰莖。而關於「我的陰莖」的十大搜索中，九個都和大小相關。
女性希望臀部變得更大，男性是否也希望女性如此呢？很有趣，是的。「巨臀色情」搜索曾經主要集中在黑人社區，最近卻風靡整個美國。
男性對女性身體還有什麼別的偏好呢？這個問題的答案並不令人驚訝：男性偏愛大胸。在特定色情內容搜索中，有12%都是在尋找巨乳，幾乎是貧乳內容搜索量的近20倍。
但是並不清楚，這是否意味着男性希望女性隆胸。大約3%的巨乳色情內容搜索者明確表示，他們希望看到自然的胸部。
在谷歌上搜索「妻子」和「隆胸」的人中，一群人想知道如何說服妻子隆胸，另一群則對妻子想隆胸感到莫名其妙。這兩個群體人數相當。
關於女友的胸部，谷歌上最常見的搜索詞條是：「我愛女友的胸。」不清楚男性希望用這句話在谷歌上搜到怎樣的內容。
和男性一樣，女性也搜索了關於生殖器的問題。事實上，她們提出的陰道方面的問題，數量幾乎和男性提出的陰莖方面的問題一樣多。女性對陰道的擔憂往往關於健康。但至少有30%的問題涉及其他方面。比如女人想知道如何剃陰毛、讓陰道縮緊、使其口感更好。一個格外普遍的關注點是，如何改善陰道的氣味。
女性最經常擔心的是她們的陰道散發魚腥味，接下來依次是醋味、洋蔥味、氨氣味、蒜味、奶酪味、體臭、尿味、麵包味、漂白水味、糞便味、汗味、金屬味、腳臭、垃圾味和腐肉味。
總體而言，男性並沒有對與伴侶的生殖器有關的問題，進行大量的谷歌搜索。男人搜索女友陰道的次數與女人搜索男友陰莖的次數不相上下。
當男性搜索與伴侶的陰道相關的問題時，往往抱怨的是女性最擔憂的那件事：氣味。通常的情況是，男性想要知道如何在不傷害女伴感情的前提下，告訴她氣味不佳。不過，有時候，男性提出的氣味問題揭示了他們自己的不安全感。他們時不時會問到利用氣味察覺出軌的方法——比如，怎麼分辨安全套的氣味，或是別的男人精液的氣味。
我知道自己對谷歌搜索等新數據集頗為迷戀，也總是捫心自問是不是走得太遠了。每一位研究者，不管靠數據說話的程度有多高，都可能讓自己的偏見遮蔽事實。這些數據都是公開的。其他研究人員無疑也將做出自己的詮釋，提出新的問題。
杜克大學的心理學者丹·艾瑞里(Dan Ariely)給出了一個應當謹慎解釋這組數據的理由。儘管大部分數據來源會低估性方面的想法，但他懷疑，谷歌搜索結果或許是高估了。
正如艾瑞里教授指出的，「谷歌反映的是人們不了解，且需要額外信息的東西。」如果你想知道如何烹調煎蛋卷，可以直接去問親戚。至於陰莖增大，就不大可能去問親戚了。
一個更令人驚訝的問題是，這些「大數據」實際上往往很「小」。許多人以為，任何一個問題都會有數以百萬計的谷歌搜索次數。看看本文的配圖，裡頭有不同詞組的月搜索總量。看過之後，你們大概會想，「就這麼點？」
人們不會把腦袋裡的每件事都輸進谷歌。谷歌數據只是大家所思所想的事情中，很小的一部分樣本。它能說明一些問題，但並非確鑿無疑。
我絕非性問題專家。從專業角度來說，本人既不是心理學者，也不是性方面的治療師。
不過我的想法是這樣的：
我基於谷歌搜索結果所做的幾乎每項研究，都讓我對這個世界感覺更糟了。大批人持有種族主義和性別歧視的想法；太多太多的孩子遭受了虐待卻沒有報案。然而，研究了關於性的這組新數據之後，我的感覺卻變好了。
這批數據讓我覺得沒那麼孤單。以前對谷歌數據進行研究時，我總是會發掘出人們慣常隱藏的邪惡。可是這一次，我看到的卻是隱藏的不安全感。塵世男女在這種不安全感和困惑感當中，走到了一起。
谷歌還給了我們一些正當的理由，讓我們少一些擔心。關於性伴侶如何看待我們的許多深層擔憂，其實並無必要。在獨自面對電腦的時候，在沒有理由撒謊的時候，伴侶們體現出的面貌，其實並不膚淺，也相當寬容。實際上，我們都太忙於苛責自己的身體，根本沒留下多少精力來苛責他人的身體。
也許，如果我們對性少一些擔憂，就能多一些時間享受性。
賽斯·斯蒂芬斯-大衛德維茨(Seth Stephens-Davidowitz)是一名經濟學者，為本報撰寫觀點文章。
翻譯： 土土、黃錚
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Opinion
Searching for Sex
Seth Stephens-Davidowitz
By Seth Stephens-Davidowitz
Jan. 24, 2015
ARE you confused by sex? I certainly am.
One of the many reasons sex is puzzling is that we lack reliable data. People lie to friends, lovers, doctors, surveys and themselves.
Three years ago, when I was a graduate student in economics, I began to write about how new data, particularly Google searches, could give us fresh insights into socially sensitive topics. Since then, many people have asked me to write about sex.
I was wary because I wanted to do more research. Now I’m finally ready to report. Call it everything you always wanted to know about sex, but didn’t have the data to ask.
Let’s start with the basics. How much sex are we having? Traditional surveys are no good at answering this question.
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I analyzed data from the General Social Survey, a classic source. Heterosexual men 18 and over say that they average 63 sex acts per year, using a condom in 23 percent of them. This adds up to more than 1.6 billion heterosexual condom uses per year.
Heterosexual women say they average 55 sex acts per year, using a condom in 16 percent of them. This adds up to about 1.1 billion heterosexual condom uses per year.
Who is telling the truth, men or women?
Neither. According to Nielsen, fewer than 600 million condoms are sold every year.
Americans may also be exaggerating how often they have unprotected sex. About 11 percent of women between the ages of 15 and 44 say they are sexually active, not currently pregnant and not using contraception. Even with relatively conservative assumptions about how many times they are having sex, we would expect 10 percent to become pregnant every month. But this would already be more than the total number of pregnancies in the United States (which is one in 113 women of childbearing age).
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Men who have never been married claim to average 29 condom uses per year. This is more than the total number of condoms sold in the United States to married and single people combined.
Married people probably exaggerate how much sex they have, too. On average, married men under 65 tell surveys they have sex once a week. Only 1 percent say they have gone the past year without sex. Married women say there is a little less sex but not much less.
Google searches give a far less lively picture of sex during marriage.
On Google, the top complaint about a marriage is not having sex. Searches for “sexless marriage” are three and a half times more common than “unhappy marriage” and eight times more common than “loveless marriage.” There are 16 times more complaints about a spouse not wanting sex than about a married partner not being willing to talk.
Even couples not yet married complain somewhat frequently about lack of sex. Google searches for “sexless relationship” are second only to searches for “abusive relationship.” (Abusive relationships are obviously a very important topic that I will return to in the future.)
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On Google, there are five and a half times more complaints about an unmarried partner not wanting sex than an unmarried partner refusing to text back. There are more complaints that a boyfriend “won’t have sex” than that a “girlfriend” won’t. Complaints about “husbands” and “wives” are roughly equal. (One quick point about sexuality. I am assuming that a large majority of searches with “my girlfriend” or “my wife” are by men. In a previous article, I argued that more men are gay than surveys suggest and that the closet remains a cause of huge amounts of secret suffering. But I also found that about 95 percent of men are heterosexual.) Taken altogether, the data suggest that Americans manage to have sex about 30 times per year — or once every 12 days.
Sex can be quite fun. Why do we have so little of it?
Google searches suggest one predominant reason: enormous anxiety, with much of it misplaced.
Start with men’s neuroses. It isn’t news that men worry about their genitals, but the degree of this worry is rather profound. From a Google search alone, we cannot know the gender of a user. However, we can often make a pretty good guess for searches about sex and body parts, like “my penis ____.”
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Men Google more questions about their sexual organ than any other body part: more than about their lungs, liver, feet, ears, nose, throat and brain combined.
Men make more searches asking how to make their penises bigger than how to tune a guitar, make an omelet or change a tire. Men’s top Googled concern about steroids is whether taking them might make their penis smaller. Men’s top Googled question related to how their body or mind changed as they aged was whether their penis got smaller.
Side note: One of the more common questions for Google about a penis is “How big is my penis?” That men turn to Google, rather than a ruler, with this question is, in my opinion, a quintessential expression of our digital era.
Do women care about penis size? Rarely, according to Google searches. For every search women make about a partner’s phallus, men make roughly 170 searches about their own.
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TRUE, on the rare occasions women do express concerns about a partner’s penis, it is frequently about its size, but not necessarily that it is small. More than 40 percent of complaints about a partner’s penis size is that it is too big. “Pain” is the most Googled word used in searches with the phrase “___ during sex.” (“Bleeding,” “peeing,” “crying” and “farting” round out the top five.)
One percent of searches looking to change one’s penis size are seeking information on how to make it smaller.
Another major sexual concern is climaxing prematurely. Men’s second-most-common sex question is how to make their sexual encounters longer.
Once again, the insecurities of men do not appear to match the concerns of women. There are roughly the same number of searches asking how to make a boyfriend climax more quickly as climax more slowly. In fact, the most common concern women have related to a boyfriend’s orgasm isn’t about when it happened but why it isn’t happening at all.
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We do not often talk about male body insecurity. And while it is true that overall interest in personal appearance skews female, it is not as lopsided as stereotypes would suggest. According to my analysis of Google AdWords (also based on anonymous, aggregate web activity), interest in beauty and fitness is 42 percent male; weight loss is 33 percent male; and cosmetic surgery is 39 percent male. Among all searches with “how to” related to breasts, about 20 percent ask how to get rid of man breasts.
What can this new data teach us about women’s insecurities? Every year, in the United States, there are more than seven million searches looking into breast implants. Official statistics tell us that about 300,000 women go through with it annually.
Women also show a great deal of insecurity about their behinds, although many women have recently flip-flopped on what it is they don’t like about them.
In 2004, in some parts of the United States, the most common search regarding changing one’s butt was how to make it smaller. The desire to make one’s bottom bigger was overwhelmingly concentrated in areas with large black populations. Beginning in 2010, however, the desire for bigger butts grew in the rest of the United States. This interest has tripled in four years. In 2014, there were more searches asking how to make your butt bigger than smaller in every state. These days, for every five searches looking into breast implants in the United States, there is one looking into butt implants.
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Does women’s growing preference for a larger behind match men’s preferences? Interestingly, yes. “Big butt porn” searches, which also used to be concentrated in black communities, have recently shot up in popularity throughout the United States.
What else do men want in a woman’s body? In the no surprise department, men show a preference for large breasts. About 12 percent of nongeneric pornographic searches are looking for big breasts. This is nearly 20 times higher than the search volume for small-breast porn.
That said, it is not clear that this means men want women to get breast implants. About 3 percent of big-breast porn searches explicitly say they want to see natural breasts.
Google searches about one’s wife and breast implants are evenly split between asking how to persuade her to get implants and perplexity as to why she wants them.
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Or consider the most common search about a girlfriend’s breasts: “I love my girlfriend’s boobs.” It is not clear what men are hoping to find from Google when making this search.
Women, like men, have questions about their genitals. In fact, they have nearly as many questions about their vaginas as men have about their penises. Women’s worries about their vaginas are often health-related. But at least 30 percent of their questions take up other concerns. Women want to know how to shave it, tighten it and make it taste better. A strikingly common concern is how to improve its odor.
Women are most frequently concerned that their vaginas smell like fish, followed by vinegar, onions, ammonia, garlic, cheese, body odor, urine, bread, bleach, feces, sweat, metal, feet, garbage and rotten meat.
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In general, men do not make many Google searches involving a partner’s genitalia. Men make roughly the same number of searches about a girlfriend’s vagina as women do about a boyfriend’s penis.
When men do search about a partner’s vagina, it is usually to complain about what women worry about most: the odor. Mostly, men are trying to figure out how to tell a woman about a bad odor without hurting her feelings. Sometimes, however, men’s questions about the odor reveal their own insecurities. Men occasionally ask for ways to use the smell to detect cheating — if it smells like condoms, for example, or another man’s semen.
I know I am obsessed with Google searches and other new data sets. I ask myself all the time whether I am taking it too far. Every researcher, no matter how grounded in data, can let his biases get in the way of the truth. This data is all public. Other researchers will undoubtedly add their own interpretations and ask new questions.
Dan Ariely, a psychologist at Duke, offers a reason for caution in interpreting this data. While most data sources underestimate sexual thoughts, he suspects that Google may overestimate them.
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As Professor Ariely put it, “Google is a reflection of what people don’t know and need extra information about.” If you want to know how to make omelets, you may just ask a relative. You are less likely to ask your relatives about penis enlargement.
Another surprising thing about “big data” is how small it often is. Many people expect that any given Google search will be made millions of times. You may look at the accompanying graphic that includes the total monthly search volumes for various phrases and think, “That’s it?”
People do not type everything they think into Google. Google data is a small sample of everybody’s thoughts and concerns. It is suggestive, not definitive.
I AM hardly an expert on sex. Professionally, I am neither a psychologist nor a sex therapist.
But here’s what I think.
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Just about every study I have done relying on Google searches made me feel worse about the world. Huge numbers of people are racist and sexist; far too many children suffer from unreported abuse. But after studying the new data on sex, I actually feel better.
This data makes me feel less lonely. In my previous studies of Google data, I had found the viciousness that humans often hide. But this time around, I have seen our hidden insecurities. Men and women are united in this insecurity and confusion.
Google also gives us legitimate reasons to worry less than we do. Many of our deepest fears about how our sexual partners perceive us are unjustified. Alone, at their computers, with no incentive to lie, partners reveal themselves to be fairly nonsuperficial and forgiving. In fact, we are all so busy judging our own bodies that there is little energy left over to judge other people’s.
Maybe if we worried less about sex, we’d have more of it.
P.s.當然我不想因為分享這類文章被騷擾，但就是有這種人（一種恐嚇的方式^ ^）。怕他們也不對，只會阻礙社會進步（攤手）。
